Upon receiving my first strongly worded comments on this blog, more specifically about my patented bridge hate, I remain surprised how seriously people take blogging and in a general sense the internet itself. For those of us who troll on youtube comment boards on Billy Ocean videos from 1988, tweet every waking thought, photograph their meals for instagram and status update their unfortunate bus ride or new hipster sport they have created.......please realize how absurd life has become if this is how we bide our time and communicate with strangers and friends.
We are the generation that can't. The internet owns us and forces us to behave in counter instinctual ways. I don't need to socialize every night with all 350 friends and circles. Where is the time for work or sleep?
When famous people and artists tweet offensive things, let it go, its not worth correcting. Lena Dunham and her 3 million book deal can say whatever she wants on twitter about victims of Canadian serial killers. When there is no hockey Canadians get agitated. If the internet has offended you holden caulfield i think its time to sit this life out because its not going to get fair anytime soon and the phonies are going to win. The next life is anyones guess.
I am a hypocrite and lost in a world of perpetual boredom that requires me to seek attention and self-promote myself until I am a talentless multimillionaire like Dane Cook. Punchlines and conclusions to stories are overrated anyways. I am not surrendering to the mores of today, its more like adaptation to my changing surroundings in order to exploit it for my benefit. My reach may exceed my grasp, but what's heaven for? to plagiarize and paraphrase a poem line and a film.
25 October 2012
18 October 2012
Revolution Soul Train
Despite the title of this episode there was no Don Cornelius only a steam locomotive that may or may not be sabotaged with an explosive log. It would be difficult not to find this amusing.
After a long period spent aimlessly wandering through the woods our heroes arrive in Noblesville, Indiana to find Charlie Matheson's hunky brother about to be shipped to Philadelphia, which is important for an undisclosed reason? This show has the annoying habit of either telling you nothing or telling you everything without that natural balance.
Much of the show is devoted to the backstory of Monroe Militia Colonel Tom Neville. Before the power went out he was a cowardly insurance claims adjuster, much like General Bethlehem in the Postman, who repaired copiers. He is now a martial figure with little compassion for weakness or impediments in his way. He has an extremely hot wife, played by Kim Raver, and his son, Nate, is the spy who has been chasing Charlie, father and son have similar tastes in women. We meet more rebels and the secret of the 12 pendants that will bring the power back. Now we must, ugh waste more time with whining dull characters, and find these devices.
The train arrives in Philadelphia with little real threat of derailment. No one thinks to rip up the tracks or place a tree over the tracks before the train arrives? These idiots could not win a guerrilla war against the Soviet Union let alone a set of melodramatic monochrome dressed grave speaking neofascist militiamen.
Don Cornelius
After a long period spent aimlessly wandering through the woods our heroes arrive in Noblesville, Indiana to find Charlie Matheson's hunky brother about to be shipped to Philadelphia, which is important for an undisclosed reason? This show has the annoying habit of either telling you nothing or telling you everything without that natural balance.
Much of the show is devoted to the backstory of Monroe Militia Colonel Tom Neville. Before the power went out he was a cowardly insurance claims adjuster, much like General Bethlehem in the Postman, who repaired copiers. He is now a martial figure with little compassion for weakness or impediments in his way. He has an extremely hot wife, played by Kim Raver, and his son, Nate, is the spy who has been chasing Charlie, father and son have similar tastes in women. We meet more rebels and the secret of the 12 pendants that will bring the power back. Now we must, ugh waste more time with whining dull characters, and find these devices.
Kim Raver, her real name.
The train arrives in Philadelphia with little real threat of derailment. No one thinks to rip up the tracks or place a tree over the tracks before the train arrives? These idiots could not win a guerrilla war against the Soviet Union let alone a set of melodramatic monochrome dressed grave speaking neofascist militiamen.
The guy in the shades is the drummer. These guys are the Beatles of the Alaskan militias. Guess who is the lead singer?
09 October 2012
Revolution Plague Dogs
You may wonder why I have been spending so much of my time focused on this soon to be forgotten and erased from NBC silly drama that the actors and producers have been coached to call science-fact.
If you can recall the marketing campaign for the Denzel Washington film, Deja Vu, they refused to say that it was a time-travel movie because it was possible that the past could be viewed from the present for a brief window. A window that allowed Denzel, and only Denzel, to travel back in time and stop Swiss Jesus (Jim Caviezel) from bombing a New Orleans ferry boat while saying "Ha....HAW," "my man," and "excuse me?!." All based on fact apparently.
Anyways in this week's episode, Plague Dogs, there were many easily escapable death traps, maudlin flash-backs, a tornado and actual dogs. There was not much to report from this episode other than Miles Matheson was a "murderer" and the mildly hot older English woman, Maggie was killed. Things are slowing down and the Joseph Campbell circles are becoming unwound with story lines that seem to allude constantly and offer random events rather than direction. This is not on purpose to befit some nihilistic existentialism, more likely its poor writing and remote production work via email/skype from Jon Favreau and JJ Abrams.
Revolution is like the Branson version of the Walking Dead. USA Today version of the Postman.
If you can recall the marketing campaign for the Denzel Washington film, Deja Vu, they refused to say that it was a time-travel movie because it was possible that the past could be viewed from the present for a brief window. A window that allowed Denzel, and only Denzel, to travel back in time and stop Swiss Jesus (Jim Caviezel) from bombing a New Orleans ferry boat while saying "Ha....HAW," "my man," and "excuse me?!." All based on fact apparently.
DENZEL
Anyways in this week's episode, Plague Dogs, there were many easily escapable death traps, maudlin flash-backs, a tornado and actual dogs. There was not much to report from this episode other than Miles Matheson was a "murderer" and the mildly hot older English woman, Maggie was killed. Things are slowing down and the Joseph Campbell circles are becoming unwound with story lines that seem to allude constantly and offer random events rather than direction. This is not on purpose to befit some nihilistic existentialism, more likely its poor writing and remote production work via email/skype from Jon Favreau and JJ Abrams.
Jon Favreau believing that he is the only person with a smartphone.
Revolution is like the Branson version of the Walking Dead. USA Today version of the Postman.
02 October 2012
becoming a loser and retroactive salmonella recall
When you begin writing about derivative tame network dramas as if you are engaged in passionate literary warfare against various ideologies, such as the NBC show REVOLUTION, you are a loser living in a basement apartment at the dog racetrack. Living and dying over the minor details and indistinct characters in non sequiter flashbacks is not healthy.
On this week's episode, "No Quarter," Miles and his niece, with a groups of rebels trying to restore the United States (like the Postman), find themselves trapped by the militia and decide to tunnel out. We learn that Miles used to command the militia where he killed people (like the Postman was a member of the Holnist militia). The characters are aghast, its not like he raped or pillaged which seems more likely in this alternate future than this tame outrage. Meanwhile the brother Matheson remains prisoner to the militia and the English woman, Maggie, and Aaron, google exec find a computer. The mysteries are beginning to unravel at a pace that puts one to sleep rather than spark interest.
As a loser of the highest order it is my humble duty to waste more time and complain bitterly about this show's inability to overcome its silly nature that makes the Adam West Batman show seem like an progenitor of Downton Abbey or Game of Thrones. Sword fights are lame unless there is the threat of death or decent choreography. Again this brings me to the more important issue at hand, JJ Abrams is lazy. There it is its only libel if its not true.
In the middle of writing this post I received a robocall message from Kirtland (COSTCO) on my answering machine. The smoked salmon may have salmonella. What more fitting bacteria could there be than that? The irony escaped them. Its raw, obviously it may contain bacteria and cause health problems. I have been eating their smoked salmon every morning for over a year and now realize I may have been food poisoned every day for over a year. I appreciated the phone call.
On this week's episode, "No Quarter," Miles and his niece, with a groups of rebels trying to restore the United States (like the Postman), find themselves trapped by the militia and decide to tunnel out. We learn that Miles used to command the militia where he killed people (like the Postman was a member of the Holnist militia). The characters are aghast, its not like he raped or pillaged which seems more likely in this alternate future than this tame outrage. Meanwhile the brother Matheson remains prisoner to the militia and the English woman, Maggie, and Aaron, google exec find a computer. The mysteries are beginning to unravel at a pace that puts one to sleep rather than spark interest.
As a loser of the highest order it is my humble duty to waste more time and complain bitterly about this show's inability to overcome its silly nature that makes the Adam West Batman show seem like an progenitor of Downton Abbey or Game of Thrones. Sword fights are lame unless there is the threat of death or decent choreography. Again this brings me to the more important issue at hand, JJ Abrams is lazy. There it is its only libel if its not true.
JJ Abrams
In the middle of writing this post I received a robocall message from Kirtland (COSTCO) on my answering machine. The smoked salmon may have salmonella. What more fitting bacteria could there be than that? The irony escaped them. Its raw, obviously it may contain bacteria and cause health problems. I have been eating their smoked salmon every morning for over a year and now realize I may have been food poisoned every day for over a year. I appreciated the phone call.
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